


When the Cameras aren’t on

by peteisfanatic



Category: Saturday Night Live RPF
Genre: Cheating, It’s bad guys, M/M, Not Beta Read, Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship, Smut, Stefon references, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:53:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23456572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peteisfanatic/pseuds/peteisfanatic
Summary: I’m Sorry this is so bad! Basically Bill is cheating on his partner Seth with the new writer, John. It’s awkward and poorly written but enjoy :)
Relationships: Bill Hader/John Mulaney, Bill Hader/Seth Meyers
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	When the Cameras aren’t on

“You know we can’t be doing this right?”

“Yeah but you’re such a good kisser. Makes me wish a was part of the cast so I could be part of the kissing family. Paul Rudd is a lucky man.”

“You’re a terrible actor.” Despite saying this, Bill smiled into the kiss. 

Bill had John pushed against the wall in the bathroom of some bar. Neither man drank, but there weren’t a lot of options for them to make out.

You see, Bill is in a relationship with a very wonderful and funny and talented Saturday Night Live writer. That writer is Seth Meyers who is working on the latest sketch for his boyfriend to star in. 

They got together after a weekend update segment where Stefon Zoleskey kissed Seth right on the mouth. When they said their goodbyes and the credits rolled, they went to Seth’s office and had a very long chat that ended in chaste kisses and a promise of something more. That was six months ago.

Currently, Bill is cheating on Seth Meyers with other snl writer John Mulaney. Bill and John have known each other for years, and always had an on again/off again relationship. None of it was public, not even to their closest friends. It was something they didn’t find important enough to share. 

John bit at bill’s ear, gasping and moaning in such a way that drove the taller man crazy. 

“How dare you tease me like this. Makes me wanna fuck that pretty ass right here in this dingy bar bathroom.” Bill whispered in a husky tone.

“You’re such the romantic. You treat your boyfriend this good?”

“Shut up.”

The two men didn’t get much further though because Bill’s phone rang in his pocket and the caller ID was none other than his said boyfriend. He groaned in frustration but also with a hint of guilt.

He answered the phone with a nervous glance towards the man he was previously sucking face with. 

“Hey Seth! What can I do ya for?”

{ “Bill, hows your meeting with John going? I wanted to call and tell you I got the perfect sketch for you. Wiig is back and you two are hilarious together!” }

“The meeting is uh, going well. Ya know, we talked about work stuff and what-not. I can’t wait to see Kristen, whatever you write will be so rad.”

{ “trust me, it’s gonna be a real gut buster. If you’re done with your meeting, could you come back to the studio and I could show you?” }

“Uh, actually I’m pretty tired. Long day. I was just gonna go home and sleep.” Bill was starting to sweat. He couldn’t see his boyfriend now!

{ “oh uh, that’s okay I guess.”} 

Seth sounded disappointed. Shit.

{ “I’ll show you tomorrow at work. You sleep okay, I’ll be home later. Love you.”}

“Uh-huh love you too, bye!” And bill hung up. He rubbed his face and slumped against the wall opposite of John. John gave him a sympathetic look and caressed his cheek.

“It’s okay. I’m just your side piece. I’ll walk you home.” He spoke.

“No, no. No. It’s a bad idea. This is a bad idea. I’m sorry. I need to go.”

John grabbed Bill’s wrist to keep him from leaving. “Stop. Just stop. This happens every time. We get together, you feel bad and avoid me and Seth, bang him, and repeat the process. You’re my best friend Bill. My best friend who can kiss like hell. But that shouldn’t change anything. I’ll see you at work tomorrow. Stop being weird.”

With that, John and Bill walked out of the dingy bar bathroom and out of the bar to go to their separate homes.

When Bill arrived at his and seth’s shared apartment, he prepared for bed and curled up on his side and fell into a restless sleep. 

~~~~~

A thud followed by an “ow!” and a warm body getting into bed woke Bill up. “Hey sweetie, go back to sleep it’s just me.” Seth spoke.

“What time is it?” Bill squinted in the dark.

“It’s 4:30. Lost track of time.” Seth wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and Bill couldn’t help but slightly flinch. Seth didn’t seem to notice. It’s not unusual for one of them to lose track of time at work. Both their schedules are pretty busy and often all over the place. The sky was still dark and the two didn’t have to be back until 10. 

~~~~~

When Seth and Bill walked into work together 30 minutes late with coffee and croissants, Kristen ran up to ambush them with a hug. 

“Careful, careful. Hot coffee!” Bill warned. He quickly passed his cup to Seth so he could properly hug his friend. 

“Hope you’re ready for the storm, host.” Bill teases. 

“Please. I could do this in my sleep.” Kristen quipped. 

The banter came easily despite not talking to each other in a couple months. Kristen was working on a new movie and didn’t have time to catch up like she used to but for publicity, is hosting to promote her new movie. Seth kissed her cheek and wished her luck before heading to his office. Bill went off in the opposite direction.

~~~~~

Things went back to normal for several weeks. Bill and Seth were the picture-perfect couple everyone talked about. Always being in each other’s space wether it be Bill going over lines in Seth’s office or Seth sitting on Bill’s lap in the writing room or even brushing ever so slightly in the hallways when they passed. 

It was a Tuesday and Seth had to stay late again to meet deadlines and Bill was at home cooking himself a grilled cheese. 

After he ate and finished an episode of dateline, he was feeling pretty bored. He decided to text Seth. 

To Seth: hey

It took about half an hour for a reply.

To Bill: hey what’s up

To Seth: just miss u

To Bill: I miss you too baby 

To Seth: when will u be home?

To Bill: probably another hour or so. I’m so close to finishing but Mulaney is working with me

Bill got a little nervous at that. Of course it was fine if Seth and John hung out. They do work together after all. And it’s not like John would rat out their little affair. Right?

To Seth: ok. Love u Seth 

To Bill: love you too sweetheart. I’ll text you when I leave xoxo

Bill smiled at the sweetness of the message and put his phone away. This will be fine he thought. 

~~~~~

No text from Seth and Bill was starting to get worried. He probably just forgot he thought. Bill decided it would be okay and made his way to the bed. He got comfortable there under the covers but couldn’t quite fall asleep until his boyfriend showed up. 

At some point he did fall asleep though because he was woken up by said boyfriend crawling into bed.

“Shh baby. It’s just me,” Seth whispered. Bill immediately felt safer. 

“I had an interesting conversation at work with our dear friend John today.”

And that is when Bill felt his blood run cold. 

“You did? What did he say?”

“Oh ya know, work, living in New York, his new side piece.”

“He has a side piece?” By this point Bill was completely frozen.

“Open your eyes baby.” Seth commanded but Bill still held them together tighter than his nerves. 

“Bill. Look at me.” 

The second time he did open his eyes and was met with his boyfriend staring right at him with those baby blues.

“You wanna be honest with me?”

Bill shook his head no. 

“Hmm try again.” Seth pushed on.

“I’m sorry,” Bill whispered. A tear escaped his eye and rolled down his face onto the mattress. 

“Now what have you got to be sorry for? Did you do something?”

“Don’t make me say it. I’m sorry Seth, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise.” Each word tumbling out of Bill’s mouth got more distorted with tears. 

“Hey shh,” Seth wiped just boyfriend’s eyes and held his reddened face. “I want to hear you say it, I need to hear you say it. Are you cheating on me with John? Is he telling the truth?”

Bill choked out a sob and Seth even let a tear fall. He looked like he was about to break but still held it together.

“It’s true. I’m sorry. We didn’t mean for it to happen, it’s just-“ another sob interrupted his sentence and he couldn’t continue.

Seth just rubbed Bill’s back and softly kissed his forehead. 

“I want you to end it. You can’t see him unless I’m with you and only if it’s for work. You’re still mine. And while this hurts more than anything, you’re still mine. We can make it work. I love you bill.”

Bill sat up and hugged Seth. Things will be okay he thought. 

Seth let go and lied back down. 

“Get some sleep okay? We do have work tomorrow.”

Bill snuggled into Seth’s embrace and fell asleep  
~~~~~

End

**Author's Note:**

> If you’ve made it this far, sorry. Please note I do not own these actors or any rights to the characters they play and I don’t condone cheating of any kind. This was just something fun to write


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